Thursday, December 31, 2009
and here it is, will be having my surgery at 0730.
on new year eve, its hard to elaborate how i feel.
haha, its ok, smile.
&forever
12:29 AM
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
listen to my heartbeat,
its uncomplete, without the bounce of a ball.
&forever
1:52 AM
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
that's not the right way to care,
fuck the word family.
i'm a person who don't show anxious-ness about stuffs.
such a pathetic family that says i don't look like i care about it at all,
just because i don't show it on the face.
even my camp mates know how i'm like,
even my sergeants who ord, wrote a letter to me saying my personality,
knows how i express myself.
the reverse phsycology way works for me in domestic affairs.
the more you irritate and bug me, the more i don't feel like seeing you or coming home.
so good luck, because you both are going thr this method in getting me.
i'm totally irritated, vex about my injuries plus surgery,
because honestly, i'm afraid.
and there you are beside me, nagging and saying ridiculous stuff.
you brought up the instand noodle shit again, and i stopped what i'm doing immediately,
and tell you nicely, i don't want to talk about this.
but you take it for granted, too bad.
i need someone..
to company me.
&forever
11:31 PM
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
irritating la god damn it.
should not let my mother know what the doctor said.
doc said there is a small lump in my ankle, thats is why its causing pain and restrict movement.
it should be a sports injury, instead of those cancer lump stuff.
my mother heard lump, paranoid like end of world.
she just condeem it as cancer kind of lump, asking me stop eating instand noodles and all.
ridiculous. irritated.
F it.
&forever
10:54 PM
Sunday, December 20, 2009
hahaha!
whose work place?! hahaha.
this magical ball can transform one ok!
the swelling seems to get bigger, don't know why.
22nd NUH
23rd CGH
SNSD concert!
yuri was so nice to wear the dance outfit.
i so want to see that dance performance! and everything.
quickkkk
11:46 PM
Friday, December 18, 2009
一直等 一个人 等了很久
from those past injuries,
whenever i sprained my ankle or injured during games,
i could stand up and continue the game with the pain.
this time,
when i got injured,
i lied down on the spot,
unable to talk,
medic came rushing, sweats sliding down with fist clenched.
and people had to carry me off the court.
sprained both of my ankle 15 times,
no matter which chinese doctor i go,
it doesn't hurt that much.
this time, knee injury,
went to chinese doctor, 7 needles,
after some time, took out the needles and do the treatment.
i shouted, in the clinic,
grabbing my phone, that crushing it by one hand is not a problem.
i almost, almost black out from the pain.
i told the doctor, i can't, i can't go furthur.
he told me, you have to bear the pain,
but the pain is.. extraordinary.
that is the first time i shouted for my injuries,
imagine. think. why.
father talked to me, in a serious tone.
asking me to end my basketball career,
because i got injured many times that is uncountable.
i know how will i be when i'm old.
rheumatism is going to be my everyday thing, and much more to come.
end it? how is this possible?
&forever
12:01 AM
Saturday, December 12, 2009
how i wish i'm claire from heroes,
and my leg wouldn't be a problem.
i won't be able to sleep for nights, due to the pain.
today in camp, woke up at 5.30am first thing is to ask my friend
bring me my painkiller. what a breakfast.
who will be there for me and to company me in the middle of the night?
i don't think i will step out of the house with those crutches of mine.
oh no, nothing to read already..
&forever
12:37 AM
Tuesday, December 01, 2009
its good that you have read it (:
&forever
4:29 PM
