THE LOVE FOR THE GAME

Saturday, March 29, 2008

its been quite a long time.
who can have a taste of this feeling, when you don't have any school infront of you, when you don't have a proper road ahead of you? who will wants to have an unsatisfied one whole full year, living boringly when your dear friends have new friends at school, new hot topics with their new classmates and doing great things with them? if you get to taste all these, you will treasure any school deeply if they gave you the opportunity to enter. say i'm unlucky? because course vacancies are occupied and overwhelming response of a school vacancies?
actually there is nothing new in me, i still have my same friends, just that i can't really reach out to anyone because i can understand that they have a new journey to walk through, new things to entertain to, and.. i can't possibly hold them back. for the sake of me. nobody likes to be left behind, left alone, nobody. i'm getting tired of this kind of dead life, my parents thought i love it, thought i got no heart in books. but actually i long very another level, want to study some brand new things, interested in number of courses, unlike the past with some disliking subjects. the urge of getting into a surrounding, desperation for more realistic education, which involves in daily life, a jump away from primary and secondary education system. they don't understand, they just don't. i've tried, did first appeal, second appeal, even continued with third appeal, went down to schools personally, but still, they said it is filled up. what should i do? can anyone lead me? drag me out of this hole, and put me on a new ground. sadness over happiness in the inside, happiness over sadness on the outside. this road is rough and plain, its not nice. the older it is, the more things to worry about, hais. i don't like the feeling the way it is right now. please leave.

i just
don't feel
so good

&forever
12:36 AM